yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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