Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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