I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
