Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize