The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
so much tequila, so little girl.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
