I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
