hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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