we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
