S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
