Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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