I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize