the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
