if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
