even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
