man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
