Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Holy shit dude........stairs
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
