Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I think my fart just growled at me.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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