Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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