When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
