David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
