Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
