Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I AM VODKA MAN
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
