My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
