Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
