im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
