Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
