I wish I could punch you in the face.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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