still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
