Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
