Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
i believe in u and ur pee
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
