he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
