we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
