im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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