Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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