Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead

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(480): View more from Arizona

She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day

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(315): View more from New York

3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

We left the knife in your bed.

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(720): View more from Colorado

ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.

(1-720): View more from Colorado

Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.

(720): View more from Colorado

I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.

(720): View more from Colorado

I rest my case.

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(561): View more from Florida

If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes

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(402): View more from Nebraska

He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.

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