shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
