Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
they're like a gay fantastic four
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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