I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I want to make a zoo with you.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
