winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
