mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
