pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My pussy is not your playground.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
