I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
