So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
