Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
