If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
we made out on top of his cat.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Congratulations! We have a period
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