Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
