so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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