I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
