why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Randomize
