I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
