I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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