I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
