I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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