i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
