Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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