I am puke
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
