windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Mom said you looked used
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
