I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
