How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
