The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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