I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
