allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
