Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
