Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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