I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
