I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
it glows. i had to have it.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
