Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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