Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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