I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
