Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
