wanna go halves on a baby?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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