We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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