every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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