he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
