wat bout pragnant strippers??
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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