The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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