dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Do vagina's smell?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
its liver damage thursday
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