i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Randomize
