Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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