Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
someone threw a dead crab at me
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
